diff --git "a/test.txt" "b/test.txt" deleted file mode 100644--- "a/test.txt" +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1760 +0,0 @@ - -Chapter 1: -Chapter 2: -Chapter 3: -Chapter 4: -Chapter 5: -Chapter 6: -Chapter 7: -Chapter 8: -Chapter 9: - -Optimal Quality of Life Training ....................c:ccecceereeeeereeees -Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress ...............::cccseeees -Breathe Deeply, Smoothly, Slowly, and on Long Intervals... - -Hold a Steady, Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes ..................008 - -Recognizing Muscular Tension and Dormant Muscle........... -Release Tense Muscle with Compression and Massage....... -Thinking Peacefullly ................cccccscccssseccssecsseesssseesseeesssaeessaees -Reprogramming Facial Tension ................ccscccssscssseessteesseees - -Compressing Facial Muscles for Composure and Well-being.. - -Chapter 10: Perfecting Your Smille.................c:ccccccccsscecsseeesseeeesseeesseeeenes - -Chapter 11: -Chapter 12: -Chapter 13: - -Breathing Less, Nasally, and without Pharyngeal Tension... -Release Vocal Tension ..............:ccecceceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeteeeeneeeae - -Reprogram Your Posture for PoWEFC .............::cccscceeseeeereees - -Chapter 14: Anti-rigidity Therapy: Bring Dormant Muscle to Fatigue.... - -Chapter 15: - -Combine Anti-rigidity with your Exercise Routine.............. - -Chapter 16: Anti-rigidity Exercises for the Neck and Shoulders............. - -Chapter 17: Anti-rigidity Exercises for the Lower Back.................. -Chapter 18: Use Proper Posture and Anti-rigidity While Walking.... -Chapter 19: -Chapter 20: Healthy Eating Patterns ..............:cccccscccssseecssseesseeessees -Chapter 21: -Chapter 22: -Chapter 23: - -Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior ................:ccccccecee - -Chronic Stress, the Amygdala, and Cortisol ............... -Listen to Your Heart and Gut ...............c:ccccccccccceeeseseeeeeeeeseeee - -Serotonin, Optimism, and Cooperation ................cc:ccee - -Chapter 24: Rise Above Status Conflict .................:ccscccssceessseeesseeeseeeenee - -Chapter 25: - -Happiness Is Playfulness & Composed Kindness ................ - - - -Chapter 26: Conclusions - -401 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -Indeed, human infertility and sexual dysfunction are both known by medical researchers to be -highly exacerbated by the stress hormone cortisol. - -Chronically elevated cortisol levels can cause loss of libido and impotence in men mostly by -inhibiting the production of testosterone. In women, it can cause severe fertility problems and -result in an abnormal menstrual cycle. This antagonism between the cortisol and testosterone -hormonal axes is thought to be adaptive because in emergency situations engaging in behaviors -that are encouraged by testosterone, such as mating, competition, and dominance is -unnecessary and possibly counterproductive. - -If you put a mouse in a cage with a more dominant mouse, its testosterone and fertility will -decline significantly. Similarly, if you spend time believing that you are inferior or inadequate, -your virility will drop. We must avoid sexual bullying and stop ourselves from thinking sexually -self-subordinating thoughts. Fortunately, the effects of cortisol on testosterone in both men -and women are reversed when the stress goes back down. - -You don’t want your body to assume you are a pathetic monkey trying to sneak copulations -in hiding. So, you need to send it the right messages. You want to develop a mindset of sexual -dominance and disinhibition affirming that you can achieve arousal at any time, have sex -anywhere, and be in your sexual comfort zone under any social conditions...as long as it is -ethical and legal, of course. This starts with slowing everything else down and making your -sexual response a priority. Just as subordination causes us to ignore our shallow breathing and -protracted neck, it also causes us to ignore both the tension and the pleasure in our genitals. -The best way to counteract this is to learn to “listen” to your genitals. - -Sexual Exercise #19.1: Listen to the Sensations Coming from Your Genitals - -Your genitals are continuously sending you sensory signals about their current state of -arousal. Most of us ignore this steady influx of cues, leaving us out of tune with our sexuality. -Sexual suppression and submission have turned our erogenous zones into blind spots. Feeling -good down there is not a sin, not a luxury, and not something you have to earn. It is your -basic right as a mammal and an integral part of dealing with stress. If you want to cultivate -your sexual response, you must pay attention to any and all pleasurable sensations coming -from in between your legs. - -Close your eyes, and spend five minutes meditating on this area. Focus on it completely like -you are watching a movie. At first, you may not sense much, but with time and patience, -you will begin to notice faint instances of erogenous squirming and pulsating. Indulge them. -Learn to revel in them. Doing this will help prove to your body that you are a lusty beast -unencumbered by sexual trauma. With time, practice, and the use of the other exercises in -this chapter, infrequent tingles and quivers will turn into a steady stream of not-so-subtle -heaving and throbbing. Monitor your breath while you do this and imagine breathing -“straight into your genitals.” This will help you develop the laser focus necessary to become -reacquainted with the full extent of your aphrodisia. - -402 - Chapter 19: Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior - -One of the best ways to improve your awareness of sexual sensations is to stop bracing the -muscles involved. This is simply because, if they are constantly strained, they cannot respond -actively to sexual stimuli. There is no throbbing in dormant muscle. - -Stop Bracing the Muscles Surrounding Your Genitals - -Hip or pelvic tension can be a conscious or unconscious attempt to downplay the potency of -the genital region and is yet another form of submissive body language. Over time the -formation of dormant muscle leads to withered libido, lessened enjoyment of sex, and sexual -dysfunction. There are other sources of pelvic bracing. Falling on the bottom, bruising the -tailbone, long hours sitting at a desk or a bicycle seat, and all types of physical trauma can lead -to tension the area. - -Pelvic bracing is linked to medical disorders. Vaginismus is the involuntary contraction of -muscles that surround the vagina. The tight muscles make penetration and intercourse painful -for women with this disorder. Bracing may also make it harder for some women to orgasm. - -For a woman to climax, the muscles of her pelvic floor cannot be taut. They must relax during -sexual stimulation so that they can contract rhythmically during orgasm. Many researchers -believe that various sexual disorders such as male impotence, latency to female orgasm, and -vulvodynia (chronic vulvar pain) can be due to excessive bracing of muscles adjacent to the -sexual organs.? This seems even more likely when you consider that common preceding events -for these disorders include sexual assault, rape, domestic abuse, sexual humiliation, chronic -pain, and generalized anxiety. - -It is well known that the blood vessels surrounding the external genitalia constrict during -sympathetic stimulation and dilate upon parasympathetic stimulation. This means that blood -flow to the penis, clitoris, and vulva is impeded by stress and accentuated by relaxation. In fact, -the pelvic floor is one of the most reactive groups of muscles during startle. When it contracts it -results in a retraction of the clitoris for women and the penis for men. Relaxation of the -anococcygeal area is thought to be key in improving the sexual arousal response. As a matter of -fact, engorgement of the penis, clitoris, and labia results from the relaxation of smooth muscle. -In other words, blood doesn’t flow until these unconsciously regulated muscles loosen up. - -Sexual Activity #19.1: Brace and Debrace Your Pelvic Muscles - -How do stress and intimidation affect the bracing of the muscles around your genitals? Most -people could not answer this because they have little to no awareness of this common -reaction. Let’s try bracing them to see how it feels. Tighten the muscles in your lower back. -Tilt your hips to one side and brace them. Squeeze your legs together. Tighten your urinary -sphincter as if you were trying to stop yourself from peeing. Now contract all these muscles, -and anything else local you can find, at 90% of their maximum strength. After 10 seconds, -let go entirely and register what it feels like to let the bracing here subside. Repeat this -contraction and relaxation four more times. - -We signal sexual submission by straining sex-related muscles in the abdomen and pelvis. -These muscles lose their healthy tone after sexual trauma or feelings of sexual inferiority. -Thankfully, like all muscles, you can rehabilitate them. Most people have an untapped reservoir - -403 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -of muscle in the groin that has atrophied. The next two sections will show you how to exercise -and strengthen it. | believe proper tone in these muscles allows the genitals increased vascular -blood flow (vasocongestion), increases the prominence of arousal, and heightens the -accompanying sensations. - -Exercise Your Urine Retentive Muscles - -You have numerous muscles situated between your sitz bones, pubic bone, and coccyx. These -muscles support the pelvic organs, contract during orgasm, aid in childbirth and ejaculation, -and provide core stability. - -Abdominal -Muscle -Rectum - -Coccyx Pubic Bone - -Bladder -Urethra -Anus - -Pelvic Floor Vagina - -Muscles - -Illustration 19.1: A. Side view of female reproductive anatomy. Note the location of the pelvic floor muscles -stretching from the pubic bone to the tail bone (coccyx); B. Frontal view of the pelvic floor musculature which is -similar in women and men. Several pelvic muscles are depicted including the ischiocavernosus, bulbospongiosus, -coccygeus, pubococcygeus, the urogenital diaphragm and others. - -In the 1960s, Dr. Arnold Kegel taught people how to strengthen the perineum (the area -between the anus and the genitals). He knew that these muscles are often injured in women -during childbirth, and he instructed women how to contract them, reinstating their strength, -in an exercise that came to be known as “Kegels.” Doctors have prescribed Kegels for many -reasons, including treating urinary incontinence,’ ameliorating erectile dysfunction,> and -controlling premature ejaculation.® Kegels are taught by having the patient repeatedly interrupt -their urinary flow. Dr. Kegel recommended urinating a spoonful at a time. Try this in the -activity below. - -Sexual Activity #19.2: Contracting the Urinary Sphincter - -The next time you find yourself peeing, stop urinating midstream. Once you can stop the flow -completely, you have found the right muscles. Try urinating for only a second at a time until -you have voided your bladder. Focus on tightening only the pelvic floor muscles, keeping the -abdomen, thighs, anus, and buttocks relaxed. This will allow you to isolate the contraction. -Doing this several times will help you identify the muscles and gain conscious control of -them. At that point, you should do this exercise without urinating and from any position - -you want. - -404 - - Chapter 19: Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior - -Most of us learned to brace the Kegel muscles intensely as young children when -“holding it” for long periods to avoid the embarrassing experience of urinating in public. -Can you remember an incident in which this muscle was likely traumatized by being braced -heavily during the traumatic scenario of trying desperately to find a bathroom as a child? -Not only do the muscles surrounding the genitals seize up in these scenarios, but distressed -breathing predominates, making the strain worse. Most people have a strong tendency to hold -their breath when performing Kegels,’ and of course, this defeats the purpose. Therefore -| recommend pairing Kegels with paced breathing. - -Sexual Exercise #19.2: Diaphragmatic Kegels - -Perform hard Kegel contractions as if you were interrupting the stream of urine. Do this while -paced breathing. This will build your capacity to activate the pelvic floor muscles without -holding your breath. Hold a forceful contraction during a 10-second passive exhalation and -then relax for a few breaths. Do this 10 times in a row. You might also try performing rapid -Kegels (i.e., one to three per second) for a minute. - -These muscles contract involuntarily during arousal and orgasm. So, loosening them up and -developing their responsivity may enliven your sex life. Also, after developing the muscular -strength that comes from pelvic floor exercises, men can perform a Kegel at orgasm to -withhold ejaculation effectively allowing them to experience multiple orgasms. | also believe -that strengthening and unbracing these muscles can facilitate female ejaculation and -squirting. - -The next section will provide you with an exercise that will dilate these areas rather than -constrict them. In a previous chapter, we learned how important it is to perform forward bends -after backward bends to neutralize the spine. | believe that performing Kegels without -exercising the antagonist muscles leads to similar imbalances. For example, there is evidence -that performing Kegels can lead to incomplete emptying of the bladder, and this is a risk factor -for urinary tract infection and other maladies. As you might have guessed, the counterpose for -a Kegel is complete bladder emptying. - -Exercise the Muscles that Expel Urine -Interestingly, the Kegel contraction is braced involuntarily during social competition. -Kegels result in a retraction of the clitoris, penis, and testicles, potentially making them less -conspicuous to a competitor. | believe that, in this, they are submissive and intended to hide -the genitalia. It is like the sea slug withdrawing its gill or the snail withdrawing its eyestalk. -Male monkeys and apes are frequently observed hiding their erections from other males, -especially from males above them in the hierarchy. They don’t want to be attacked for being -aroused. This is why | think genital retraction due to chronic Kegel contraction is an innate -defense mechanism protecting subordinates from sexually dominant individuals. It is yet -another display equivalent to a collapsed posture. | believe that losing tone and developing -partial contraction in the pelvic region is a self-handicapping mechanism that assumes -advertising one’s level of sexual arousal is dangerous. - -405 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -If you have balanced tone in your pelvic muscles, your flaccid penis or clitoris will increase -and decrease in size with your arousal level. If you have strain or poor tone, the flaccid organ -may remain at its smallest possible size until full arousal is reached. Most people are aware that -the penis and clitoris shrink in size when exposed to cold. In fact, penile length decreases by up -to 50% in the defensive response to low temperature. | believe men with a history of chronic -intimidation and sexual subordination are more likely to exhibit this kind of shrinkage when -flaccid. This likely corresponds to the “grower” vs. “shower” dichotomy referenced in popular -culture. The growers may be men with a more extensive history of being sexually intimidated. -This may be reversible by performing the opposite of the Kegel. - -It is easy for both women and men to pinpoint the muscles that expel urine. They speed up -the stream. These muscles include the lower abdominal muscles and the bladder detrusor -muscle. They aid in the expulsion of urine by increasing the pressure applied to the bladder -wall. The stream of urine will cease when the bladder has been voided, but the muscles -themselves can still be contracted. If you continue to squeeze the expulsive muscles very firmly -after you finish urinating, you will realize you can flex these muscles through their full range. - -Most people never use this full range, creating a missing corner of dormant muscle. - -Thus, it is also a reservoir that you can tap into and rehab. Think of the exercise as an -“antikegel.” As we have seen in previous chapters, sometimes the only way to free muscles -from partial contraction is through hard, full contractions. - -Sexual Exercise #19.3: Contract the Expulsive Muscles - -The next time you urinate, try to expel the urine more forcefully than usual. Steadily increase -the force as you empty your bladder. As it nears empty, do not let up. Instead, squeeze the -related muscles hard even after the stream stops. Notice the posture that your lower back -and lower abdomen have taken on, and remember the feeling of contracting this muscle so -that you can do it later. After you have emptied your bladder, continue to squeeze the -muscle at 70 to 90% maximum force for an additional 10 seconds. It may ache tenderly, - -but performing this exercise each time you urinate will make this aching disappear within a -matter of days. - -Start practicing it away from the toilet as well. You should feel comfortable performing the -Kegel and “antiKegel” contractions in the presence of others. There is no reason to brace or -self-limit your pelvic range just because other people are around. To really stimulate these -erogenous areas and all the tissues and blood vessels involved, you can also try gently -performing Kegels and antiKegels while you have an erection, whether clitoral or penile. -Together, these exercises will help put an end to neurotic pelvic flinching and straining. - -Urine Expulsion as a Posture and Mindset - -You want to incorporate proper tone in these urine-expelling muscles into your daily standing, -walking, and sitting postures. The muscles involved include the lower abdominals, so imagine -being able to take a small punch to the lowest segment of your abs at any time. This means you -need to practice walking around with your lower abs engaged as if you were peeing. | want to - -406 - Chapter 19: Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior - -encourage you to walk, jog, exercise, and socialize as if you are dribbling urine everywhere -you go. - -“Listen” intently to the sensations involved. It should feel pleasurable. Imagine spurting -rainbows and gushing warm velvet from your urethra onto everything in front of you. -Experience everything orgasmically. This should be happening as you look at yourself in the -mirror, as you walk around the block, and as you squeeze in that last repetition while -exercising. Imagine that your genitals are permanently everted rather than inverted. As you -strengthen the retentive and expulsive muscles, muscle memory will develop, and they -will come to hold balanced tone automatically. | believe this is highly beneficial for -psychosexual health. - -| suppressed these muscles during my lifetime through acquiescent, self-handicapping -behavior. | have always been averse to dirty jokes and overt sex play, which may have led to -less sexualized perineal posture growing up. | believe that | unconsciously allowed my Kegel -muscles to strain and my expulsive muscles to atrophy because | was sexually repressive, and -anal-retentive. Again, the expulsive urinary and anal sphincter muscles work antagonistically -with the retentive muscles, meaning that expulsive qualities may be especially weak in -“retentive” people. If you think that you may be anal-retentive, you are probably also urinary -retentive. While we are talking about poop, please ask yourself whether combining distressed -breathing while straining on the toilet seat during defecation may have traumatized your anal -muscles. If so, you might consider using paced breathing while defecating, when constipated, -and while contracting the anal retentive and expulsive muscles. - -Strengthening the muscles involved in expelling urine will make your behavior more -assertive. Activity and tone in this area are associated with approach and the seizing of -opportunities that are both sexual and non-sexual in nature. It is difficult to maintain a -dominant, self-assured demeanor if the tone in the expulsive muscles is low. You have probably -noticed that worry or sudden fear makes your retentive muscles tense and the expulsive ones -limp. Similarly, encountering something sharp or experiencing fear of heights does this as well. -For example, peering over the ledge from the Sth floor of a parking structure can make your -whole pelvis seize up. This happens immediately and involuntarily during startle and fright. -Your pelvic floor recoils from threat. - -When you take an ego blow or get upset or flustered, the muscles that expel urine similarly -drop out of flexion. If your machismo is questioned, but you have the gumption to reassert -yourself, you might notice the activity waiver and come back. Activity here “shrivels up” when -people get their “balls busted.” For many depressed and anxious people, these muscles drop -out of tonicity during social encounters. For sexually assertive people, the expulsive -musculature develops a stronger tone when around others they find attractive. For sexually -withdrawn people, the tone may actually decrease in these situations. Losing tone and -accumulating strain in these muscles leads to emasculation and/or defeminization. - -When | first started to engage the muscles that expel urine, | would become afraid of -upsetting the bully introduced in Chapter 2. | realized that | was afraid to engage the muscles -even when he was not around. When | tried, thoughts, visuals, and a feeling of being in the -bully’s presence would intrude into my mind unconsciously. It took me some time to realize -that | was bracing these muscles in a restricted range out of fear of “offending” the bully. - -This bully was muscular, highly charismatic, a felon, and a murderer. On one occasion, | had - -407 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -seen him continue to make fun of and laugh at someone even after that person pulled a gun on -him. As many bullies do, he would frequently tell sexually explicit stories describing his sexual -prowess in attempts to intimidate other men. This is one of the fundamental forms that sexual -toxicity takes. - -The man had acquired “pseudopsychopathy,” meaning he had developed criminal, -antisocial, and hypersexual personality traits after severe brain trauma. He was catastrophically -disinhibited after being fully ejected headfirst through the windshields of two cars he stole on -separate occasions. | was subverting my sexuality in an attempt to appease this man. Simply -becoming explicitly aware of this subversion was enough to end it. After bringing peace to this -context, | realized that there were additional contexts that caused me to brace my genital -musculature. What contexts of intimidation sting you in the genitals and keep you stuck ina -partially contracted Kegel? Don’t let anyone keep you in a retentive state in which the genitals -are retracted or keep you from contracting your expulsive muscles. Rather than being held taut -in a restricted range, these muscles should fluctuate naturally between the two extremes of -retention and expulsion as you go about your day. - -Once you become comfortable fully contracting the muscles that withhold and expel urine, -you should notice them quiver involuntarily more frequently. Toning the muscles and stretching -them out of partial contraction will increase the range of motion of your orgasms. You may also -notice that you experience increased blood flow and heightened turgidity in your genitals. This -suggests to me that formal physical therapy centered around exercising these muscles could -treat both diminished sex drive and erectile dysfunction. However, most medical experts on the -topic assume that these muscles operate autonomously and needn’t be exercised. - -This medical opinion is at odds with Ayurvedic medicine and tantric Hinduism, which -recognize the base of the spine as a chakra. It is called muladhara, the root chakra, and -kundalini yoga emphasizes that it must be used and meditated upon. Additionally, some -Japanese Zen meditation practices emphasize the lower abdominal area (dantian or tanden) as -a focal point for meditation. | believe the exercises in this chapter can guide you to exert -control over and rehabilitate these foci. - -At one point, | realized | lacked the coordination to contract my urinary expulsive muscles -and gluteus muscles simultaneously. When | tried, | held my breath. Many people have this -functional dissociation. When these are dissociated, you are limited to either doing one or the -other. However, it is easy to fix. Proper core stability demands that you be able to contract -these muscles together actively. Everyone should teach their body to activate both the urinary -and fecal expulsive muscles while simultaneously contracting their buttocks. - -Sexual Activity #19.4: Pairing Expulsive Tone with Gluteal Tone -Stand with optimal posture, as described in Chapter 13. With your feet parallel and the top -of your hips rolled backward, contract the gluteus muscles. Now contract either your urinary -or fecal expulsive muscles as if you were trying to pee or defecate. Now try all three together. -Spend time in this zone varying these contractions to different degrees while engaging in -calm, paced breathing. - -408 - Chapter 19: Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior - -As with many other examples in the Program Peace system, if holding two dominant -displays simultaneously is uncomfortable or difficult, they likely inhibit each other. However, -if you can calmly practice them together, you disinhibit them and increase the probability they -will arise together on their own. - -Walk Confidently as if Your Genitals Were on Display - -In Chapter 2, we discussed how submissive animals minimize the appearance of physical assets -like horns, claws, and muscles. This includes the genitals. Your everyday posture and -mannerisms reveal cues to others as to how comfortable you are naked. Body language evolved -during our history as unclothed apes, so even clothed, we often act as if we were naked. Most -people conceal their genitals during times of insecurity with their hands, legs, chairs, or tables. -When a dominant person makes a power play, it is quite common for other people of the same -sex to place their hands in front of their sex organs. The only time you should conceal or protect -the genitals is to block a physical blow to the groin. - -Most people walk in a way that hides or apologizes for their genitalia. Walking like this -involves hunching or crouching of the lower back. Remember the lumbar lordosis and anterior -pelvic tilt discussed in previous chapters? We actually use these to withdraw our private parts -from view. They obscure the genitals like a dog hiding its tail between its legs. You should do -the exact opposite. This means walking around with the back and hips open as if presenting the -genitalia. To do this, flex your buttocks. That’s right, gluteal contraction puts your genitals on -display by pressing your hips forward, and rolling the top of your pelvis back, as discussed in -Chapter 17. It is an entirely different style of standing and walking that comes across as much -more sexually self-assured. - -If you can imagine being comfortably naked in social situations, you will project higher -confidence. The more time you spend naked, the more comfortable it will become, which is -why | strongly recommend sleeping naked when possible. If you have never slept naked, you -may lose some sleep the first night because of how uncomfortable you feel. But you will relax -into it within a week. | also recommend spending time alone in your room in the buff as -described next. - -Sexual Activity #19.5: Spend an Hour in Your Room Naked -Make sure no one can see into your room, and you won’t be disturbed. Lock the door. -Completely disrobe. Place towels underneath you if uncomfortable sitting on the floor naked. -Spend a full hour reading, watching TV, meditating, whatever you want, completely naked. It -can help to have a mirror in front of you. Use optimal posture. Once you become -comfortable, try talking on the phone. How do you hold your body when completely nude? -Do you tend to cover up or hide your genitalia? Is your posture retentive or expulsive? Notice -these tendencies change as you become comfortable. Experiment with pushing your pelvis -out, contracting your glutes, and spreading your legs in different ways. If performed with -paced breathing, this activity will transform your relationship with your birthday suit. - -409 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -Masturbation Trauma - -Most of us were petitioned by our parents at a very young age to stop touching our genitals in -the company of others. We learned to feel bad for stimulating the area, resulting in a subtle -form of trauma. | recommend briefly touching yourself in a sexual/affectionate way at least five -times a day. This can be a graze, stroke, or reassuring grope. Some people already do this -regularly. To others, it is very foreign. You can do it alone or discretely in public. Even a second -of self-comforting can help decrease bracing of the pelvic floor. - -| used to worry that frequent masturbation could cause specific forms of cancer until | used -pubmed.com to look at the actual medical studies. It does not. There are no diseases linked to -masturbation. So, give yourself carte blanche to be completely self-indulgent. However, there -are a few important caveats to keep in mind. Masturbating to pornography may desensitize you -to real people, potentially leading to sexual dysfunction. Also, masturbating with a lubricant can -make it difficult for men to sustain an erection with a condom. Also, consider masturbating -while standing up to avoid losing the ability to remain aroused while standing. Definitely -consider masturbating while paced breathing. For some people, it takes time and work merely -to reach arousal while paced breathing. But the process will steel and gird your sexuality. - -Studies have shown that placing tiny vibrators near or on the genitals of mice can increase -sexual response, interest, and the production of sex hormones. Studies like these suggest that -the external use of vibrators may convince the mammalian body that it resides in some kind of -maximally optimal sexual environment and may in turn elicit an optimal sexual response from it -(involving changes in gene expression). Keep in mind though that masturbating to orgasm with -some sex toys may make it difficult to sustain arousal during regular intercourse. - -The fascia and muscles nestled in the pelvis control the responsivity of sexual arousal. -Massage and myofascial release are probably beneficial for these muscles; however, there is no -existing rubric to help people do this safely and effectively. Moreover, excessive pressure could -damage your sexual organs or drastically change the tone of the muscles that regulate blood -flow to them. For these reasons, | will not describe a protocol for genital massage here. If you -decide to use compressive massage on the areas between your legs, | recommend using only -very light pressure. That being said, you should also find that groin stretching and anti-rigidity -can be helpful in conditioning these muscles. - -Sexual Expressivity - -The anti-rigidity exercises for the lumbar spine from Chapter 17 will help free up your hips and -lower back, making your sexual expressivity more sensual and enjoyable. Try to incorporate -previously dormant muscles into intercourse and use them to explore new movement patterns. -Use the next two activities to enhance the coordination of the muscles and joints involved. - -Sexual Activity #19.6: Bump Your Pubis Against the Wall - -Find some privacy and turn on some sexy music. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart -and your toes touching a wall. Press your pubic bone into the wall to the beat of the music. -You can bump against it like a bouncing basketball or smear yourself into it with each thrust. -Contract your buttocks firmly as you advance. Vary the curvature of your lower back, the -distance between your feet, and the placement of each blow against the wall. - -410 - Chapter 19: Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior - -After a few sessions, you will develop the coordination to turn it into a dance. You can move -each advance from left to right or from top to bottom. Doing this against a door jamb can -give you the leg room you need to bend your knees and drop lower. You can also try this -exercise by bumping your butt against the wall instead of your pubis. Bang everything from -your pubic bone to your hips, your sacrum to your sitz bones into the brick, wood, or plaster. -Focus on rhythm, timing, and bravado. - -Good sex should provide a massage to the pubic bone, and the muscles that surround it, -for both partners. The friction between your pubic hair and your partner’s should make -rhythmic crackling sounds. Pubic-bone-on-pubic-bone massage increases arousal and is one of -the best ways to stimulate the clitoris. Just like the muscles in our lower backs, muscles that -surround the pubic bone can take the form of tense cords that form tense cords. Teaching -yourself to massage them during the act of sex, along with those of the other person, can be -very sexually empowering. - -Sexual Activity #19.7: Hump Your Pillows to Music -Put on some music or a music video. Stack pillows on your bed to support your pelvis in -different sexual positions. You can straddle these pillows, kneel, squat, or lie on top of them. -You can also fold a pillow over a couple of times to - Chapter 25: Finding Happiness Through Playfulness & Composed Kindness - -It can be freeing to be mellow and passive and to support the leadership of others. - -Allow other people to take over and yourself to relax when they do. Relish the relief from being -in charge. Do so while exuding balanced, non-confrontational energy. Perpetual assertion takes -its toll. It involves intense face time, eye contact, talking, decision making, and an overtaxing of -existing bracing patterns. It leads to social fatigue and is why high-pressure executives and CEOs -can age so rapidly. We should be handing over the pack leader role constantly, passing it -around from person to person, sharing the stage, the crown, and the accompanying burdens. - -Often, in real life, we are forced to play an inferior role. At our workplace, we must submit -to higher-ups to keep our jobs and advance our careers. There are many reasons you should -treat your boss as the dominant individual. What’s more, it may be best for you, your boss, and -the business to allow them to act superior in some ways. That said, don’t hurt yourself just to -let the boss be the boss. Acquiesce appropriately to your employer, law enforcement, judges, -and other authority figures without diminishing your posture, shortening your breath, or -surrendering your pride. This will allow you to maintain a healthy serotonin level regardless of -your place on the corporate ladder. - -Just because you don’t try to stop someone from acting dominant doesn’t mean they are -dominating you. They are only dominating you if you are inhibiting yourself or avoiding -confrontation with them out of fear. They can never dominate you as long as you stay -composed. Take sovereignty from needless one-upmanship. - -Keep in mind that everyone has essential observations and keen insights to impart. - -All humans are our fellows and our equals. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Every man | meet is -in some way my superior.” So, let every man and woman be your superior at times, especially -when they have something to teach you. When you see someone do better than you at -something you value, don’t feel envious or threatened. Instead, feel eager to learn. This is ego -stability and emotional strength. - -When threatened by an intruder, a dominant gorilla will let out a tremendous roar, charge, -and knock down the newcomer with an immense hand swipe. However, outside of defending -themselves and their group members, dominant gorillas do not generally overtly assert their -rank.* Even though gorillas are immense powerhouses, animal behaviorists often describe them -as shy because, most of the time, they don’t feel like they have anything to prove. It is not that -they are shy; it is that we are arrogant, pompous, and flagrantly adversarial. - -The only way to transcend the dominance hierarchy is to be content when you temporarily -find yourself in a subordinate position; to be comfortable when others perceive you as -subordinate without trying to change their mind. You don’t want to be a doormat, but neither -do you want to be consumed by resisting looking like a doormat. Only doormats worry about -being doormats. - -Our unconscious mind values prestige over happiness. The two are often at odds. You can -change this by intentionally pursuing happiness over prestige. - -Optimism, Excitement, and Feeling Good - -It pays to be happy. Optimists live longer, have stronger immune systems, recover from injury -more quickly, and have increased mental and physical health. Happiness and positive emotions -are linked to higher earnings, better appraisal at work, relationships of higher quality, and -increased likability.2 Happy people are perceived as more intelligent, competent, and physically - -517 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -attractive. Optimists cope more effectively with stress, are generally healthier, and are less -likely to become depressed.? When optimists have coronary bypass surgery, they heal more -quickly than pessimists.4 Positive thinking results in a cardiovascular system that is less reactive -to stress.° But how do we become happy in the first place? - -Optimists attribute the cause of adverse events to external, specific, and transient factors. -In other words, they see a tragedy as a one-off fluke. Pessimists, on the other hand, attribute -failures to their own internal, global, and permanent shortcomings. They see themselves as -useless and assume the world is out to get them. If this is you, stop it. Regain your optimism by -recognizing that you have the potential to fix anything and everything that has ever been wrong -with your life. Recognize that the “future you” will be skilled and competent enough to solve -any problems that arise. - -We are constantly making expressions to ourselves as we go about our days alone. -Whatever these expressions are, they constitute our true selves. For most people, it’s wincing. -If that’s you, make the gestures and facial expressions of happiness when you are by yourself. -The smiling and the postural alterations from previous chapters will help with this. If solitary -happiness is not practiced regularly, attempts at appearing happy among others will be fake. -Remember how excited you could become as a child? You had no reservations about expressing -exuberance and enthusiasm. Nothing is stopping you from feeling zestfully happy right now -aside from the force of habit. - -| have spent much of this book describing how we use our bodily energy to traumatize our -tissues. This might make you assume that our life force is destructive. It is not. You must -redirect that same life force away from anxiety and tension toward happiness and joy. The -more you do this, the less energy there is to sustain stress. Doing so actively reprograms how -your body routes energy, setting you up for hardwired happiness. Accordingly, all the exercises -in this book should be done with joy and optimistic expectations. This will make them much -more powerful. - -Be a lifeless corpse when it comes to tension, ego, and pessimism. When it comes to -playfulness, however, that’s when you want to be alive and spend your chi-like energy on -positive social displays. Let’s start with laughter. - -Laughter in Other Animals - -Many mammals laugh. For example, most rodents emit long ultrasonic vocalizations during -rough and tumble play. The sounds rats and mice make have been described as chirping and -occur in the 50-kHz range (inaudible to humans). When chirping, they actively seek being -tickled and played with. They chirp when wrestling, chasing, or searching for one another. -They chirp during courting and before copulation. Researchers have interpreted rat chirping as -an expectation of something rewarding and it appears to elicit friendly social approach in other -members of their species.® It also nullifies anxiety. If you tickle a rat after a fearful situation, - -it will neutralize the negative emotions and vastly decrease any fear-related learning going on -in its brain. - -Dogs can pant using heavy, forced exhalations in a way that suggests a form of modified -laughter. They use it during play. Dogs exposed to a recorded “dog-laugh” exhibit significantly -reduced stress behaviors, increased tail wagging, the display of the canine “play-face,” as well -as prosocial behavior such as approaching and licking another dog’s lips.’ - -518 - Chapter 25: Finding Happiness Through Playfulness & Composed Kindness - -Chimps, gorillas, and orangutans all exhibit laughter-like vocalizations in response to -physical play, including friendly contact like chasing, wrestling, and tickling.® It is a shallow pant, -conveying nonaggression that is highly reminiscent of suppressed laughter in humans. Their -laughter shows the same sonographic pattern as that of human babies. They also use similar -facial expressions while laughing and are ticklish in the same areas that humans are. Ape -laughter consists of a series of exhalations and inhalations (like panting). On the other hand, -human laughter consists of a series of exhalations with no intervening inhalations.? - -Mice, dogs, apes, and humans make their breath shallow to create rapport. Insistence on -breathing at long intervals caused me to stop doing this. | was so focused on diaphragmatic -breathing that | refused to breathe shallowly even when joking with friends. This is like refusing -to make anything other than an expressionless face. Think of shallow breathing during fun, -jovial play as a form of healthy panting that serves as a temporary micro-break or counterpose -to diaphragmatic breathing. Refusing to pant is refusing to play. - -Rehabilitating Your Laughter Will Make It Much More Pleasurable - -Gelotology is the study of laughter and the positive effects it can have on the body. Proponents -advocate the induction of laughter on therapeutic grounds.’° Laughter yoga (hasya yoga) and -laughter meditation also use voluntary laughter for therapeutic purposes. Studies have shown -that it alleviates both stress and pain.‘ These practices assume that voluntary or forced -laughter provides some of the same benefits as spontaneous laughter. Voluntary laughter is -often done in groups and may turn into real laughter. Participants are instructed to facilitate -laughing by using “childlike playfulness” and eye contact. These practices are great, but | think -they do not get down to the issue’s crux. From what | have seen, people who engage in this -practice are mostly laughing superficially. To reap the benefits, we must isolate and strengthen -the core laughing reflex. - -The muscles involved in laughing have been traumatized by life stress. As an infant, your -laugh was primordial and bona fide. Years of anxious laughter and worrying that your laugh is -too aggressive have damaged your instinctual laughing pattern. As you might expect, people -who are depressed or anxious have the least convincing laughs. Extremely dominant people -laugh loudly, without hesitating, at whatever they like. Most people, however, stifle their -laughter in the same way they stifle their posture and breathing. This explains why most adults’ -laughter is eccentric and deviated from the innate laughter pattern. - -A baby’s laughter is vivacious and natural. To relearn to laugh genuinely, it is helpful to -watch infants and toddlers laughing. Take the time to search for videos of “babies laughing” -on the internet and mimic them. You will see that infants don’t stifle their laughter. They don’t -worry about their laugh being too forceful or about offending someone. Neither should we. -Your laugh should shake you to your core and be intensely pleasurable. - -A hearty and progressive emptying of the lungs applies a significant load to the diaphragm -and the muscles of the chest wall, triggering the endorphin system.” This is why social laughter -is correlated with an elevated pain threshold.*? However, most adult laughs hardly activate -the pleasure system at all. After years of stifling laughter, we have forgotten how to laugh in -a way that produces this response. For many people, the diaphragm’s role in laughter has -been weakened so much that laughter no longer recruits endorphins and is draining rather -than energizing. - -519 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -Fake or nervous laughter comes from the throat and often results in increased tension -there. During natural laughter, the diaphragm does most of the work. By training yourself -to laugh through deep contractions of the diaphragm and abdominals, you can rebuild an -authentic laugh. These muscles should reach exhaustion and start to fail during a good laugh. -If your diaphragm and abdominals begin to burn like they did when you were a child, you know -that you are doing it right. The next exercise will show you exactly how to retrain your -diaphragm to fully participate in the act of laughing. - -Happiness Exercise #25.1: Diaphragmatic Laughing - -Practice laughing while exhaling completely. This involves an uninterrupted emptying of the -lungs. Inhale completely only after you laugh/exhale completely. Your exhale should consist -of a long series of laughing sounds punctuated by vocal (glottal) closure (“haha” equals two -glottal closures). The brief closing of the vocal tract (glottis) against the exhalation allows -pressure to build and makes the laugh sound like a series of rapid-fire punches. They should -roll out somewhat like the Rs when you roll your tongue. Practice this as an exercise and -attempt to make the laughter last for at least five seconds, but shoot for 10 to 20 seconds. -Laugh all the way to the bottom of your range of exhalation. Use the principles of anti- -rigidity. Try the following variations: - -1) Focus on and coordinate the laughs (glottal closures) so that they proceed at a -smooth and steady rate. - -2) Notice inadvertent irregularities in timing, as well as the tendency to gulp, -choke, or falter, and iron these out. It’s okay if it sounds mechanical and -robotic at first while you are relearning the basics. - -3) Cause the punctuated exhalations to roll out as fast as possible while -maintaining a fixed rhythm. After you gain coordination in speeding them up, -try slowing them down. - -4) Do this using your voice at various pitches but focus most on using a deep -voice to create a deep laugh. - -5) Explore your preferred ways of laughing, varying resonance, inflection, and -timing. Modulate each in as many ways as possible. - -6) Employ different melodies and model other people’s laughs. Spend time -listening to and imitating actor Mark Hamill’s maniacal Joker laugh. - -7) Try laughing while exhaling completely until it turns into a wheeze and you -feel you don’t have a cubic centimeter of air left in your lungs. Ensure that the -laughing pattern remains coordinated even at the bottom of your exhalation. -This will greatly strengthen the muscles involved. - -8) Don’t raise your shoulders when you laugh and focus on keeping them pushed -toward the floor. Maintain the tenets of optimal posture. Don’t allow your -spine to curve into a forward “C” shape. You might try lying on your stomach -while you laugh to ensure that your spine is straight. - -9) Do this with a thoroughly relaxed face or while you massage your face so that -you can laugh heartily without intense facial constriction. Induce paroxysms of - -520 - Chapter 25: Finding Happiness Through Playfulness & Composed Kindness - -laughter without raising the eyebrows, squinting, sneering, or tensing any -other muscles. - -10) The pressure to keep exhaling should be forceful and have a life of its own. It -should feel like a boa constrictor is wrapped around your chest, squeezing you -hard and only giving you a short period to inhale every few seconds. - -11) Laugh authoritatively, compellingly, boldly, forcefully, mightily. Work on -making it contagious. - -Because the muscles are strained, stagnant, and uncoordinated, your laugh may sound like -that of an insane villain at first. But, with practice, it will become friendly and ebullient. It is -important to do this exercise loudly, gleefully, and unhesitatingly, so make sure that you are not -worried about others hearing you. Do it in a closet or, better yet, in the car. - -It will be uncomfortable at first. The muscles you engage may be so weak that they feel -susceptible to damage. Mine certainly were. If so, take it easy the first few days and build up to -doing it vigorously. Use laughter to work out the cramp in your diaphragm. This exercise is a -powerful complement to diaphragmatic breathing exercises and will help you reach muscles -that you otherwise could not. To this end, try it while lying on your stomach, from a forward -fold, or from happy baby pose with your belly pushed out. - -At first, the laughing exercise should make you feel weary. After only one week, you will be -able to push harder and be more adept at coordinating the pulses of laughter. After a few -weeks, you will be good at it and find yourself laughing more often. This exercise transformed -my laugh from a flimsy, perfunctory, courtesy laugh into something enjoyable. Now | laugh -spontaneously, heartily, resolutely, and much more frequently. | find laughing tremendously -gratifying, and things that were barely amusing to me before are now hilarious. - -| believe that laughing evolved to help humans let off steam. It may have allowed instances -of camaraderie and social bonding to influence an individual’s life strategy to place less value -on the adaptive aspects of trauma. In other words, the more conducive your environment is to -laughing, the more your body assumes that your environment is a good one and that it is safe -to be optimistic. A real laugh was probably designed by evolution to help us attain a full-range, -hard contraction of the diaphragm. As with pant-hooting (Exercise 11.6), this contraction -relieves the diaphragm of the partial contraction caused by stress and shallow breathing. - -The more you rehabilitate your laugh, the more you increase your diaphragm’s potential -for providing you with endorphins. Remember that endorphins are most reliably produced by -grooming, singing, laughing, and play.!4 These are addressed in Chapter 6, Chapter 12, this -section, and the next section, respectively, - -Some people with relatively calm nasopharynxes can clear their nasopharynx in the same -way others clear their throats. It is like snorting, except it involves breathing out rather than -breathing in. Some people call it a nose laugh. | see it as a dominance signal conveying that the -person’s nasopharynx is not tense. When my nasopharynx was tense, | was incapable of -doing it. Once you have compressed your nasopharynx using the exercises in Chapter 11, -you can build the coordination to perform this empowering laugh. - -Some people use this signal to laugh at something they find inferior, like rolling the eyes. -Please don’t use it derisively or to ridicule people. Instead, use it as a heartfelt laugh to - -521 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -communicate that you are enjoying absurdity. People usually find it exciting, and it makes them -want to laugh along with you. - -Happiness Exercise #25.2: Laugh through the Nasopharynx - -Use a brief (0.5 to 3 seconds) but powerful exhalation to force air out through your -nasopharynx with the mouth closed. This snort is similar to a scoff or chortle. It sometimes -arises when you try to withhold laughter. First practice doing it in small, short bursts to -develop the proper coordination so that you can build up to doing it in a prolonged way. -With practice, you will be able to hold convincing, three-second nose laughs. It is a convivial -way to express amusement that improves quickly with practice. - -Be Playful - -“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing” — George Bernard Shaw -(1856-1950) - -Play, like laughter, is a form of medicine, but certain conditions must be met for it to be -genuine. All stressors (anger, fear, pain, hunger, and separation) reduce play. Animals must be -well fed, comfortable, and healthy for play to take place. When these conditions are met, rats -and mice chase and pounce, wrestle, pin, nip, poke, and knock each other over. This is the kind -of play that generates high-frequency laughter-like chirps at 50 kHz. Physical rough-and-tumble -play is the most fun of all. At one point, | thought all aggressive acts were unpleasant, but -judging from play in other mammals, feigned aggression can be joyous. - -It is important to note that when mammals play, rapid role reversal is a defining element. -In other words, they know it is friendly when everyone gets a chance to be on top. Knowledge -of this should influence us to pass being dominant back and forth with our friends. The rat that -ends up on top more often during pins becomes dominant. The continuation of play -necessitates a willingness on the part of the winner to self-handicap. Dominant rats that go -easy on others always have playmates, but those that bully are ignored when they try to solicit -play. Play helps animals determine who to avoid and with whom they can develop cooperative -relationships. They learn to dominate but also accept defeat without being “defeated.” - -Dominant animals would rather play, but aggressive animals would rather fight. Rats -involved in a fight bite each other and box. This can lead to injury. They stand on their hind legs -and strike each other with their front paws. When they do this, the 50-kHz “laughter” turns into -22-kHz “complaints.” This is similar to chimpanzees among whom play is accompanied by -wrestling, panting, and a play face, whereas fighting involves boxing, tearing, scratching, biting, -and barking. - -522 - Chapter 25: Finding Happiness Through Playfulness & Composed Kindness - -Ilustration 25.1: Animals playing. - -Rather than being based around wrestling, human play focuses on verbal interchange and -banter. Repartee involves provocation, rejoinders, biting commentary, and, if friendly, laughter. -As in other mammals, this form of verbal jousting can engender friendship, respect, and -cooperation. It can be made more fun with the use of bombastic quarreling, absurd -braggadocio, frivolous histrionics, grandiose pretentiousness, and ostentatious balderdash. -When you do it, be spunky, employ exuberance, and enjoy it. You don’t have to act excitable to -be sparkling and bubbly; you just need to be playful. Usually, if you manage to entertain -yourself, others will be entertained as well. - -Remember to be like the mice during play and allow others their opportunity to be on top, -lest you risk losing playmates. This includes giving others equal chance to talk and refraining -from dominating conversations. A dog initiates play by crouching. A monkey initiates it by -exposing its rear end. Both of these actions involve self-diminishment and vulnerability. -Showing others that you don’t take yourself too seriously or exposing a vulnerability can make -them want to play with you. After experimenting with this for years now, | have concluded that -you can be as vulnerable and nice as you can, and as long as you are playful, it won’t be -mistaken for weakness. - -Play ranks among the most beneficial neuroplastic interventions. Placing rodents into -enriched environments where they can socialize, wrestle, and play with others results in -heavier brains and higher levels of dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin. Studies have found -that rats deprived of play are more fearful and aggressive toward other rats. Encouraging -playfulness in animals is one of the few behavioral interventions known to reverse anxiety and -depressive symptoms.*> This is probably because it allows them to shift from the threat -response to the challenge response. - -Social play involves creativity and requires that we learn to approach others in diverting -and lively ways. Imagination and fantasy can also facilitate play. My favorite way to play with -people is to make up imaginary scenarios: “What would you do if...?” | am animated, -shameless, and immature when doing this. My scenarios include helicopters, ninjas, dinosaurs, -and hats with pinwheels on top of them. When other people do this, recognize it as play, -participate, and egg them on by laughing with them. Whenever someone uses an analogy or -poetic license to describe a situation, help them flesh it out until you have created a whimsical, -comical cartoon world. Feel at home with wordplay, punning, nonsense, and silliness. - - -Use Sensory Deprivation to Unmask Neurotic Activity - -Most of us are afraid that fixing our gaze on anything will make us look too calm. We keep our -eyes busy to make others feel comfortable. Take a minute now and observe yourself looking -around. You should be able to sense pressure to keep glancing neurotically. This comes froma -form of anxiety in the eye motor centers that act below the level of conscious awareness. The -restlessness makes it difficult for you to maintain eye contact and to fixate on anything if other -people are watching you. The best way to retrain this nervous habit is to become more -comfortable anchoring your gaze without worrying about how you may appear to others while -doing it. - -Eye Exercise #4.13: Sustained Gaze - -Spend two minutes staring at a single point. Notice any impulses to glance away and gently -override them. You might try to keep your eyes fixated on a single feature of the wall or -ceiling, or you might try to keep your gaze limited to a circumscribed region of space like a -light fixture. If you’re having trouble, cut out a picture of a face from a magazine and tape it -to your wall or ceiling to gaze at contentedly. Allow yourself to feel free to space out like a -child absorbed in a daydream. Don’t be concerned about looking dazed or stupefied and -don’t worry if this level of ocular relaxation causes your eyes to cross for a few moments. - -Sensory deprivation can help uncover baseline neurotic tendencies. Let’s start with sight. -Tracking your ocular behavior in complete darkness will make it clear how much of your eye -movement is high-strung and unnecessary. The best way to do this is to wait until nighttime, -turn off all the lights in your home, and lie down on the floor of a closet or bathroom. Do -whatever you can to make this area completely dark. You may need to put up curtains or drape -some towels over the cracks. Being in pitch blackness makes it easier to feel absolutely certain -that no one can see your face, expressions, or eye movements. Think back to the way your -submissive signaling diminished when you took that walk around the block while pretending to -be invisible. Complete darkness allows you an even greater degree of invisibility and anonymity. -No one and nothing can be offended by how relaxed you appear because you truly are invisible. -Take the opportunity to relax fully and open your eyes very wide without compunction. - -In absolute darkness, | feel like a slimy, gelatinous sea slug that has been removed from all -danger. | can feel the squinting contraction release in the same way that the sea slug we -discussed in Chapter 2 releases its gill. The complete vacancy of visual stimulus will desensitize -you and provide your eyes with the experience they need to grow wide. This phenomenon is - -117 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -also a bit like eyestalk extension in snails. When you touch a snail, its eyestalks retract. The eyes -invert within the eyestalks and travel down toward the head. This action blinds the snail but is -an essential defensive reflex meant to protect the eyes. After several seconds, when the snail -starts to feel safe again, the eyes slowly evert, the eyestalks reach full length, and the eyes pop -out at the top. Use the exercises above to develop fearless, wide eyes and fully extend your -“eayestalks.” - -In absolute darkness, you will also be able to see phosphenes, which are colored shapes -that are produced by your visual system. These may take the form of dots, stars, lines, static, -circles, or various other shapes.’ This visual activity will be accentuated if you lightly rub your -eyes. The phosphenes represent a type of background noise that is usually not noticeable yet -always ongoing. When the lights are on, phosphene activity is put to work, helping you make -perceptual distinctions. When the lights are off, that activity hits a stumbling block, amounting -to a low-level form of hallucination. - -| believe these phosphenes can play a role in driving anxious thought. Notice when they -flash abruptly, and calm your reaction to this. You may notice that they flare when you look -straight, keeping you from maintaining a fixed gaze. You may also notice that they burst in the -corner of your eye. When they flash like this in the periphery of your vision, | believe they may -be reminding you to scan for potential threats that are to the side of you or behind you. When | -first started doing this, the phosphene activity appeared sinister and frightening. | even saw -flashes of scenes from horror movies. This all contributed strongly to the feeling of being unsafe -in the dark. - -This may have also been the case for my cat Niko. He cried like a kitten in the dark closet -the first few times, but now he will join me of his own volition. Notice your reactions and try to -bring peace to your conscious and unconscious responses to the phosphene activity by pairing -the experience with diaphragmatic breathing. After doing Exercise 4.14 twice for five minutes, | -never again saw any frightful apparitions. | strongly recommend that you use this technique to -free the background activity of your visual system from unnecessary negativity. - -Eye Exercise #4.14: Vision in Complete Darkness - -Lie down on the floor in a pitch-black room. Keep your eyes as wide as possible and observe -your eye movements. Practice looking in different directions and sustaining your gaze at -different points with the eyes wide and eyebrows relaxed. You will notice your eyes dart -around in the dark. They will display an intense, agitated tendency to move quickly on their -own without any conscious deliberation. Simply observing this and practicing sustained -gazing in utter blackness will allow you to reduce the intensity. Nonjudgmentally monitor the -visual activity (colored phosphenes), the eye movement activity, and the feelings that come -from being in utter darkness. Use this method to dismantle your fear of the dark. - -| recommend buying noise-reducing earmuffs to use in your dark closet. With the earmuffs -on, you will be able to hear the background activity of your auditory system just as darkness -reveals the background activity of your visual system. For most of us, background auditory -function takes the form of a ringing or buzzing in the ears, which is known as tinnitus.22 When | -first heard the hissing sound, amplified by the earmuffs, it was very upsetting. | abhorred it. - -118 - Chapter 4: Hold a Steady, Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes - -Many people feel this way, which is unfortunate because some degree of tinnitus is always -there, whether we are conscious of it or not. | found that the practice of breathing -diaphragmatically and listening to my tinnitus gradually reduced its volume and made it far less -emotionally disquieting. Paced, diaphragmatic breathing will quickly help you come to peace -with being alone, in complete darkness, with nothing but the background noise of your own -visual and auditory systems. This will make it so that their default settings do not haunt you -during everyday life. - -Conclusion -The final exercise puts several of the routines from this chapter together into a single routine -that you can perform while watching television. - -Eye Exercise #4.15: Watching TV Upside Down - -Lie on the floor, on your back, with your head near the TV and your feet away from it. Watch -a movie or television program upside down so that you are looking straight up at the screen. -Your eyebrows should be visible but out of focus, just below the bottom of the TV’s border. -Do not allow your brow to raise. Keep your eyes wide and your face relaxed. Try to maintain -constant eye contact with the characters on the television. Place your breath metronome -next to the TV so that it can guide you in paced diaphragmatic breathing. Remain this way for -the duration of a TV show or movie. - -Afterward, look in a mirror. You should notice that your eyes look fuller, happier, and calmer. -Watching inverted video is also a challenge for your brain’s visual systems and may build -cognitive and perceptual skills. - -Some of these exercises may seem strange, forced, and almost comical. Remember, -though, that when you perform them, you are coactivating behavioral subroutines not -ordinarily coactivated together because of social constraints. By pairing these with -diaphragmatic breathing, you reeducate your nervous system to treat them as safe, making -that combination of subroutines possible. The more you do it, the more probable it is to arise -spontaneously in the future and, eventually, become a fixed part of your personality. You will -rarely have the opportunity to make prolonged eye contact, looking up with wide eyes, -breathing diaphragmatically in the course of everyday life. To build optimal behaviors into our -repertoire, we must create artificially ideal worlds in which to practice. - -The next chapter widens our focus. Behaviors like squinting, looking down, and glancing -away all have muscular components to them. Chapter 5 discusses repetitive muscular strain in -detail and considers the panoply of negative effects on us. This will set the context for the rest -of the book, which will guide you to overcome it. - -119 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -Chapter 4: Bullet Points - -e Squinting, eyebrow raising, looking down, and gaze aversion are forms of trauma that -fracture our composure but can easily be rehabilitated. - -e Widening your eyes, relaxing your brow, looking up, and practicing a fixed gaze have -many benefits and will literally change your perspective on life. - -e Squinting is defensive and intended to protect the eyeballs. On a fundamental level it is -a sign of defensiveness or submission. Deliberately widening the eyes can end excessive -squinting and is especially easy to do when breathing long, deep breaths. - -e Raised eyebrows are analogous to the action of moving the ears backward in other -mammals. This action is performed by an animal being chased so that it can hear its -attacker behind it. It is submissive and so should not be strained for long periods. - -e Eyebrows lowered is analogous to ears forward, which is the posture for an animal -chasing another. This should not be strained, either. However, becoming comfortable -lowering your eyebrows into a full frown will increase your nonverbal dominance. The -same goes for glaring and the side-eye. - -e Looking down is submissive and doing it habitually weakens the muscles that allow us to -look up. Looking upward above the horizon more often strengthens your ocular muscles -and conditions your nervous system to stop casting your gaze toward the floor. - -e Social trauma has caused us to become afraid of fixing our gaze on anything, especially -another’s eyes. - -e Making prolonged eye contact with yourself in a mirror or simply gazing calmly at points -in space will train your unconscious visual control systems to be comfortable -maintaining a fixed gaze. - -e After making eye contact, look at or near the eye line rather than below it. -e Looking at characters on the TV straight in their eyes will strengthen your ability to look -real people in the eyes. - -e Speaking to someone on the telephone while making sustained, wide-eyed eye contact -with yourself in a mirror will strengthen your face-to-face rapport with others. - -e Spending time in complete darkness while engaging in paced breathing will help you -make your visual system’s default activity less chaotic and frightening. Using sound- -reducing earmuffs can do the same for your default auditory activity. - -e Watching TV upside down can reinforce looking up and eye-widening - -120 - Chapter 4: Hold a Steady, Upward Gaze with Wide Eyes - -Chapter 4: Endnotes - -1. Pease, B., & Pease, A. (2004). The definitive book of body language. Bantam Books. -2. Lutz, T. (2001). Crying: The natural and cultural history of tears. Norton. - -3. Hasson, O. (2009). Emotional tears as biological signals. Evolutionary Psychology, 7(3), -363-370. - -4. Even, C., Schréder, C. M., Friedman, S., & Rouillon, F. (2008). Efficacy of light therapy in -nonseasonal depression: A systematic review. Journal of Affective Disorders, 108(1-2), 11-23. - -5. Keating, C. F. (1985). Human dominance signals: The primate in us. In S. L. Ellyson & J. F. -Dovidio (Eds.), Power, dominance, and nonverbal behavior (pp. 89-108). Springer-Verlag. - -6. Keating, C. F., & Keating, E. G. (1982). Visual scan patterns of rhesus monkeys viewing -faces. Perception, 11(2), 211-219. - -7. Keating, 1985, Human dominance signals. -8. Chevalier-Skolnikoff, S. (2006). Facial expression of emotion in nonhuman primates. -In P. Ekman (Ed.), Darwin and facial expression: A century of research in review (pp. 11-90). - -Malor Books. - -9. Trichas, S., & Schyns, B. (2012). The face of leadership: Perceiving leaders from facial -expression. The Leadership Quarterly, 23(3), 545-566. - -10. Carney, D. R., Hall, J. A. A., & LeBeau, L. S. (2005). Beliefs about the nonverbal expression of -social power. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 29, 105-123. - -11. Tubbs, S. (2009). Human communication: Principles and contexts (12th ed.). McGraw-Hill. - -12. Hermann, H. R. (2017). Dominance and aggression in humans and other animals: The great -game of life. Academic Press. - -13. Sapolsky, R. M. (2005). The influence of social hierarchy on primate health. Science, -308(5722), 648-652. - -14. Gomez, J. C. (1996). Ostensive behavior in great apes: The role of eye contact. In A. E. -Russon, K. A. Bard, & S. T. Parker (Eds.), Reaching into thought: The minds of the great apes -(pp. 331-151). Cambridge University Press. - -121 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -15. Cruz, W. (2001). Differences in nonverbal communication styles between cultures: -The Latino-Anglo perspective. Leadership and Management in Engineering, 1(4), 51-54. - -16. Sadri, H. A., & Flammia, M. (2011). Intercultural communication: A new approach to -international relations and global challenges. Continuum International Publishing Group. - -17. Knapp, M. L., & Hall, J. (2010). Nonverbal communication in human interaction (7th ed.). -Cengage Learning. - -18. Knapp & Hall, 2010, Nonverbal communication in human interaction. - -19. Hogan, K., & Stubbs, R. (2003). Can’t get through. 8 barriers to communication. -Pelican Publishing Company. - -20. Farroni, T., Csibra, G., Simion, F. & Johnson, M.H. (2002). Eye contact detection in humans -from birth. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 99(14), 9602-9605. - -21. Lohaus, A., Keller, H., & Voelker, S. (2001). Relationships between eye contact, maternal -sensitivity, and infant crying. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 25(6), 542-548. - -22. Van Edwards, V. (2017). Captivate: The science of succeeding with people. -Penguin Random House. - -23. Chance, M. R. A. (1967). Attention structures as the basis of primate rank orders. -Man, 2(4), 503-518. - -24. Dovidio, J. F., Ellyson, S. L., Keating, C. F., Heltman, K., & Brown, C. E. (1988). The -relationship of social power to visual displays of dominance between men and women. -Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 54(2), 233-242. - -25. Dovido at al., 1988, The relationship of social power to visual displays of dominance. - -26. Nagasawa, M., Mitsui, S., En, S., Ohtani, N., Ohta, M., Sakuma, Y., Onaka, T., Mogi, K., - -& Kikusui, T. (2015). Oxytocin-gaze positive loop and the coevolution of human-dog bonds. -Science, 348(6232), 333-336. - -27. Tehovnik, E. J., Slocum, W. M., Carvey, C. E., & Schiller, P. H. (2005). Phosphene induction -and the generation of saccadic eye movements by striate cortex. Journal of Neurophysiology, - -93(1), 1-19. - -28. Baguley, D., McFerran, D., & Hall, D. (2013). Tinnitus. The Lancet, 382(9904), 1600-1607. - -122 - Chapter 5: Recognize Muscular Tension -and Dormancy - -“You translate everything, whether physical or mental or spiritual, into muscular tension.” -— F. M. Alexander (1869-1955) - -“Suppose you’re interacting with an abusive boss. Without realizing it, you hold some part of your body still in order -to manage your behavior during the confrontation. Tension in your jaw, throat, or shoulders keeps you from lashing -out and losing your job. Tension in your hips or feet keeps you from storming out of the room. Similar tensions may -arise when you deal with a relative’s expectations of you or during a disagreement with a friend.” - -— Mary Bond (b. 1942) - -This chapter discusses a form of trauma that transforms muscles on a cellular scale: repetitive -strain. The first half of the chapter introduces the concepts of bracing and persistent muscular -tension and explains how to recognize them in your own body. The second half dives into the -social and emotional aspects of muscle tension, laying out the relationships between long-term -strain, pain, breathing, and submissiveness. Exercises are offered throughout to aid you in -recovering from your bodily tension. - -Recognizing Excessive Muscular Tone - -It can be difficult to recognize the physical sensations of muscular strain. We become so -accustomed to the pain and discomfort that they become effectively imperceptible, the same -way we stop noticing unpleasant smells. It often takes a significant shift for us to notice how -our bodies really feel. This happened to me after | strained my shoulder skateboarding. After -the accident, a doctor prescribed me a dozen pills of meloxicam, a nonsteroidal anti- -inflammatory drug (NSAID) with analgesic effects. After my first dose, | spent a few hours trying -to analyze the effects of the drug. My muscles felt looser, and this quickly put me to sleep. - -| woke up in the middle of the night to feel my hamstrings burning intensely, but they had -not been stretched or exercised recently in any unusual way. It took me a few minutes to -realize that this pain was their normal baseline condition. The strain had simply been unmasked -by the NSAID drug. | had become utterly accustomed to the fact that this tension went to bed -with me every night. | quickly realized that the problem was widespread. My hamstrings were -chronically strained from overzealous exercise, but so were my hips, lower back, shoulders, and -neck. That night, as | focused on gradually relaxing these body parts, | began to realize just how -much | had been clenching them in a bizarre, contorted way. - -This experience made me think of a lesson that my mother taught me. In my twenties, | -developed a condition called plantar fasciitis that causes pain in the soles of the feet. She -shared the method that she used to cure her plantar fasciitis, saying something along these -lines: “Jared, it’s a medical disorder, but it comes from tension. You must be curling your feet -into ‘fists’ at night. Right now, you are unconscious of this tendency, but it is possible to create -awareness. Each evening before you go to bed, focus on the sensations in your feet and tell -yourself that you plan to let the tension release and remain released as you sleep. Don’t allow -your feet to remain clenched all night.” | had painful plantar fasciitis for a full year, yet after two -nights of following her instructions, meditating closely on the sensations of tension, the pain in - -123 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -my feet was gone. Right there, lying in bed, | saw the connection and realized that this same -lesson applied not only to my heels, but to my hamstrings, my heartache, my headache, -and my whole body. - -Tone, Hypertonia, and Hypotonia - -Muscle tone, also referred to as residual muscle tension or tonus, is a continuous and passive -partial contraction found in all skeletal muscles. It is often conceptualized as the muscles’ -resistance to passive stretching during a resting state. Muscles receive continuous innervation -from the nervous system ensuring that, even in rest, they remain in a semi-active default state. -Thus, there is no complete rest in living muscle tissue. - -Both extensor and flexor muscles are constantly kept activated, which helps us maintain -muscle readiness. For instance, your bicep (a flexor) and triceps (an extensor) are both always -in a state of partial contraction. They complement and support each other, no matter how -much you try to relax them. Muscles on opposite sides of a joint contract in unison to stabilize -the joint. This kind of antagonism occurs all over the body. It is beneficial and necessary. - -Muscle tone is normal, but it can become too intense under certain conditions and begin to -cause harm. Excessive tone is referred to as persistent muscle tension, muscle spasticity, or -hypertonia. Hypertonic muscles can be found in crucial places throughout our bodies and are -sources of chronic pain, stiffness, and premature frailty for every adult on the planet. - -The cause of excessive muscular tone and the accompanying pain we experience is -multifactorial. Hypertonia can be exacerbated by bad habits, wear and tear, genetic risk factors, -and injuries such as car accidents and falls. However, most of the preventable muscular pain -that we suffer is derived from a low-energy injury to the tissues known as repetitive strain. A -repetitive strain injury is caused by repetitious tasks or by sustained awkward positions. Almost -any job, profession, or chore you can imagine involves monotonous contractions through which -muscles are subject to continuous or near-continuous strain. While repetitive strain may occur -intermittently, its effects build up over years, resulting in chronic conditions. - -Longstanding instances of muscular tension develop pathways in the nervous system that -reinforce and perpetuate them. Simultaneously, an array of cellular changes takes place within -muscle cells themselves, forcing them to contract permanently, forfeiting strength and -flexibility. By becoming accustomed to such burdens, we force ourselves to carry them -unknowingly. This is how we come to feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. We are all -hauling an invisible, intangible load, forcing dozens of muscles throughout our body to push and -pull against absolutely nothing. - -Refrain from Muscular Bracing - -Excessive tension in any posture is called muscular bracing, and it is pervasive. We brace -muscles all over our bodies every day. Squinting and the raising and lowering of the brow -discussed in Chapter 4 are also forms of bracing. Mostly, we brace as a reflexive response to -things that make us worried or uncomfortable. Due to the false sense of security it can afford, -some researchers have termed it “muscular armoring.” Bracing is intended to prepare us to -quickly initiate offensive or defensive movements as when we protect the neck by keeping the -shoulders raised. Small amounts of temporary bracing are healthy and can be helpful during -rough and tumble play, contact sports, falls, or collisions. Unnecessary bracing, however, - -124 - Chapter 5: Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy - -keeps the body “on guard” and rigid. Thus, when you need to move, you are forced to -overcome your own resistance, forfeiting grace and coordination. - -Keeping our muscles tense makes us feel in control but is a dysfunctional coping tactic. -People generalize bracing from physical challenges to intellectual and social ones. This is why -some experts refer to instances of bracing as “neurotic holding patterns.” For instance, we -tense during social encounters, especially confrontational ones. People tense their bodies -during standardized tests, social gatherings, and public speaking. This hinders their -performance by interfering with productive efforts and by causing discomfort and autonomic -stress. As we will discuss in Chapter 22, the sensation of fear in your gut and the sensation of -having your heart in your throat are also manifestations of chronic bracing. - -Imagine that you are standing alone in a strange, dark parking lot with nothing nearby to -grab ahold of. You hear someone yell, “Brace yourself!” What pose do you strike? Whatever -pose you imagined is likely one that you commonly adopt during stress and startle. The muscles -responsible for this pose are the ones you brace most often, and so they are likely currently in -the process of becoming locked up. Explore this a little further using the first unbracing -activity below. - -Relaxation Activity #5.1: Making a Claw - -Tense all the muscles in your hand, making it into a stiff claw. Curl your fingers so that all -fifteen knuckles are partially bent. Keeping your hand in that formation, see whether you can -tense it even further. Keep it tight as you open and close it five times. - -Now, use your imagination. Try to feel what would happen to your hand if you were forced to -hold it like this for a week straight. It would become immobile, inflamed, and excruciating. -Consider how often you tense your hand in daily life. Has it already taken a toll? Going -forward, work on undoing that tension. Try to notice the claw whenever it materializes and -allow it to revert to a soft, lithe hand. - -You also want your hands to be strong, so contracting their muscles firmly is necessary. The -important thing is that you allow them to relax deeply after you stop using them. Make a -very firm claw and then let it relax five times in a row. How you respond to the discomfort -involved in the effort makes all the difference. Don’t allow the discomfort from the -contraction to influence you to keep bracing. Rather, plunge into the deeper level of -relaxation that is available after you have brought the muscles to fatigue. - -There are cyclical relationships between stress, bracing, and arthritis.1 Some specialists -refer to forms of bracing as “prearthritic postures.” Joints can only be braced for so many years -before they become inflamed and degenerative. My mother has osteoarthritis in her hands. -Some of her knuckles are larger and more deformed than others. She firmly believes that the -most affected knuckles are those that she braced more during stress over decades. An extreme -example is the “raised-arm babas” of India. These are men who, for spiritual reasons, have -decided to always raise one arm in the air. Over the years, their shoulders become stiff as a - -125 - - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -board and completely useless. As you look over the table below, think about which bracing -patterns you use. - -Internal Facial Postural -Tightening the Jaw Squinting the Eyes Raising the Shoulders -Constricting the Throat Raising the Eyebrows Bracing the Lower Back -Sucking the Tongue Straining the Smile Hunching the Neck -Constricting the Nasopharynx | Straining the Sneer Neglecting the Glutes and Abs -Straining the Vocal Folds Pursing the Lips Bracing the Shoulder Blades -Shallow Breathing Tightening the Cheeks Clenching the Hands and Feet -Abdominal Tensing Drawing Down the Corners of | Tilting the Pelvis to One Side -the Mouth - -Table 5.1: Common Forms of Bracing that Compromise Muscle and Cause Pain - -Bracing belongs to a more general category known as dysponesis, or the misdirected use of -energy in the musculoskeletal system, of which unnecessary tensing of the muscles is just one -example.’ This wasting of energy is destructive. For example, dentists and orthodontists make -particular note of jaw clenching, teeth grinding, and tongue tension because those movements -push the teeth out of their optimal alignment. In Chapter 13, we will discuss how bracing the -back pushes the spine out of alignment. Muscular bracing is a factor in almost all joint disorders -and is responsible for carpal tunnel, temporomandibular joint disorder, tennis elbow, and -countless others. | believe that most chronic injuries, despite the fancy and distracting terms -used by physicians, start with tension caused by bracing. - -One way a mammal remembers that it just glimpsed a predator is by crouching down and -becoming very tense. We often use muscular tension to keep something in mind. When | need -to remember something, or when there is an urgent need to do something that cannot be done -right away, | become tenser. The specific part of my body necessary to carry out the task is -often where the tension manifests. For instance, | will try to remind myself to write down a -thought by tensing my fingers as if | were gripping a pencil. Recognize when this happens to you -and try not to use tension as a mnemonic aid. - -We tend to be negligent of excessive increases in muscle tension even when we are -performing simple tasks. We tighten muscles that are not involved in what we are doing and -then keep those muscles tight even after we finish. If the action is built into your job or daily -routine, you can start by improving the ergonomics of your workspace or taking more regular -breaks. You can also teach yourself to selectively calm muscles that you are not actively using -for the task at hand. The key is to constantly and creatively alter your body posture so that -unused muscles are engaged and overused muscles are given a break. - -126 - Chapter 5: Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy - -Relaxation Activity #5.2: Monitor Your Bracing During Teeth Brushing -The next time you brush your teeth, notice the movements in your hand, arm, shoulder, -neck, face, and torso. Are you tensing muscles or expending energy that you don’t need to? -For instance, you might be gripping the toothbrush too tightly, flexing heavily at the elbow or -shoulder, locking your jaw, or craning your neck to one side. Do you alter your posture and -vary the repetitive motions to give your muscles breaks? Use this activity as an example that -you can extend to all your daily chores and rituals. Generalize this experience to as many -other activities as possible, including writing with a pen, typing with a keyboard, or holding a -phone, tablet, book, remote controller, or steering wheel. - -Microbreaks Allow Muscles the Short Rests They Need - -Not all muscle tension is bad. After all, there is no way to exercise without tensing your -muscles. But bracing is very different from healthy exercise because it does not include tiny rest -periods called “microbreaks.” Sometimes, all our muscles need is a few seconds, or even just a -few fractions of a second, without being held taut. When the electrical activity of muscle is -tracked with electrodes, these moments of downtime show up as “electromyographic gaps” — -brief intervals during which the muscles slacken and relax. They are essential. - -For example, every step you take involves significant exertion as you push off against the -ground. However, as one leg takes over, the other is given a break during the time it takes to swing -it forward again. That respite allows the muscles to “regenerate” and prepare for the next step. If -you didn’t have this microbreak after every step, walking more than a few hundred meters would -be difficult. In much the same way, all the muscles in your body require microbreaks. - -Without momentarily reverting to a relaxed baseline tone, muscles cannot replenish and -unwanted processes ensue. You have probably noticed the difference between fatigue caused -by sustained bracing (hyperfatigue) and fatigue caused by exercise that contains microbreaks. -The former aches and is unpleasant while the latter is both soothing and exhilarating. Indeed, -the most important factor in building healthy muscle is to allow it to relax. The more relaxed -your muscles are at rest, the more quickly they recover from exercise. This is why relaxed -muscle responds dramatically to training, whereas tense muscle responds sluggishly. Whenever -you are not using a muscle, allow it to go limp. It almost seems slothful, but it’s not; it’s the way -you should live your life. - -Intermittent breaks and rests can help you disrupt long periods of unnecessary rigidity. -Naps can work wonders in this regard. During sleep, and especially during REM sleep, changes -occur in brain signaling that cause vastly reduced muscle tone, known as atonia. This is one -reason why short (10- to 20-minute) naps can be so invigorating. Short naps can also restore -alertness, mental performance, and learning ability.2 As you nap, you are even giving your heart -a brief rest, which may be why naps have been associated with reduced coronary mortality.4 -Just remember that naps of 30 minutes or more often lead to sleep inertia, impaired alertness, -and tiredness. When you feel depleted, after the gym, after an upsetting episode, or whenever -you start to feel stiff and sore, set your phone’s timer for 20 minutes and allow yourself a -recuperative power nap. Even if you don’t fall asleep, just giving yourself a few minutes to lay -down during the day provides a reprieve that can be highly beneficial in the long term. - -127 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -Why don’t we allow ourselves the microbreaks that our bodies call for? Often, it is due to -social pressures. Propriety and intimidation related to the status hierarchy cause us to brace, -then feel guilty about relaxing. Chronic submissive signaling disallows you from claiming the -microbreaks that your muscles need. When at a dinner date or in a board room, we don’t give -our neurotic holding patterns a single second of downtime. Well-composed people give various -muscles involved in social displays microbreaks. In fact, we can conceptualize composure as skill -in microbreaking. Of course, even our breathing muscles require microbreaks. - -Unbrace Your Exhalation with the Passive Exhale - -Diaphragmatic bracing is the central feature of distressed breathing and a core symptom of -trauma. Remember Activity 5.1, in which you held your hand like a claw and kept it tight as you -opened and closed it? This is exactly what you are doing with your diaphragm when stressed. -This kind of bracing could be an excellent exercise for the diaphragm if it only lasted for 30 -seconds at a time, but we tend to do it for hours or days at a time. Continuously over-tensing -the diaphragm and other respiratory muscles reduces their strength and range of motion, -resulting in rapid shallow breathing. - -The inbreath requires muscular contraction, but the outbreath does not. It is not necessary -to do any muscular work during exhalation. The positive pressure of air in your lungs is enough -to create the force. This effortless return of the diaphragm to its resting position is called elastic -recoil. The air naturally wants to be pressed out of your lungs as it would from a deflating -balloon. Unfortunately, most of us keep our breathing muscles tense during exhalation, and this -ensnares us in a state of fight or flight. Stopping this requires awareness and practice. To -perform a passive exhalation, all you need to do is let your breathing go limp while you are -exhaling. After a minute or two of practicing this, you should actually be able to feel the -diaphragm simmer down. - -Relaxation Exercise #5.1: Unbracing the Diaphragm While Exhaling -Perform paced breathing for five minutes. Take full inhalations, and when you start each -exhalation, let go of the diaphragm completely. Every exhalation should be a completely -passive form of freefall throughout which all the breathing musculature is relaxed. Imagine -the leisurely descent of a parachute. You are not doing any work at all, and it should proceed -at its own pace. The air should be oozing out of your nostrils on its own. Once you practice -this for five minutes, you should be able to tell that you were holding your diaphragm like a -tense “claw” during your exhalation before. Allowing the diaphragm to go limp during the -exhale is extremely important for its health because, just like all muscles, it needs periods of -inactivity to regenerate. Because you never stop breathing, its only chance for such a -microbreak is during the exhalation. - -Imagine that for some reason you are responsible for driving a car up and down a low- -grade hill, over and over again. For a while, you keep the engine on during the descent, but -since the descent lasts for a few minutes, you realize that you can turn the engine off, put the -car into neutral, and just let it coast without having to touch the brake, the accelerator, or the - -128 - Chapter 5: Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy - -wheel. This is what a passive exhalation should feel like. After you finish your inhale, just take -the keys out of the ignition. - -Your inhalation is also braced; it is just much harder to notice. An inhalation requires the -contraction of the diaphragm down into the gut to create the vacuum that draws air into the -lungs. But this contraction is often braced beyond what is necessary, like the opening of a -tightly clenched hand. This bracing impedes belly breathing and pulls the air into your upper -chest. If you can interrupt it during an inhalation, you will feel your belly coming uncoupled -from the bottom of your rib cage. The passive exhale will help you with this uncoupling. As you -learn to sense your diaphragmatic tension during the exhale, you can teach yourself how to -lessen the unnecessary tension occurring during the inhale. Once you have done this, your -breathing will become much more efficient and less labored. - -It is worth mentioning that aside from bracing the inhale during the exhale, many of us also -brace the exhale during the inhale. This is when we keep the thoracic muscles responsible for -exhalation clenched while breathing in. This is also completely unnecessary. Spend some time -trying to notice these effects in your own breathing. - -After performing the passive exhalation for a few days, a sense of irritation in your chest -will dissipate. When this discomfort and inflammation is totally gone, you will feel a profound -sense of relief. The passive exhalation is so important that | consider it the fifth tenet of optimal -breathing. Expect it to increase the benefits you get from paced breathing. The passive exhale is -such a fundamental routine that it is actually a reflexive response that all mammals use after a -stressor has come and gone. Can you guess what it is? - -Once a stressful episode has resolved, all species of mammal exhibit “deep spontaneous -breaths.” They inhale very deeply so that they can then exhale passively to reset and restore -equilibrium in their autonomic nervous system. We know this as sighing. Even mice sigh, and | -believe that, like us, they do it to provide the diaphragm with a microbreak. However, if you -provide your diaphragm with a microbreak during every exhalation, you won’t feel the need to -sigh anymore. The trick is to learn to exhale limply even after a shallow inhalation. Sighing is -very frequent in people diagnosed with panic disorders. | used to sigh constantly, but after -diaphragmatic retraining, | rarely catch myself doing it anymore. Master the passive exhalation -because it is highly de-traumatizing. - -Persistent Muscle Tension Creates Trigger Points -Excessive muscle tension and the absence of microbreaks eventually produce “knots” that can -be felt under your skin. They occur all over the body. They are often palpable, raised nodules -tender to the touch, producing a dull, aching pain when pressed firmly. In the medical -literature, these knots are referred to as trigger points, trigger sites, or spasms, and they cause -reductions in muscle mass, flexibility, strength, and endurance.° They are hyper-irritated spots -in taut bands of skeletal muscle fibers created by chronic muscle overload. They usually involve -a local contraction in a small number of muscle fibers within a larger muscle bundle.® - -Many scientists refer to these knots as “myofascial trigger points.” The “myo” is derived -from the Greek word for “muscle” while “fascial” refers to the tough outer lining that keeps -muscles in place (fascia is a type of connective tissue that forms a continuous scaffold around -all the muscles and tendons in the body). Myofascial trigger points are small patches of muscle -and fascia that pull together in an isolated spasm. They are different from whole-muscle - -129 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -spasms like a charley horse or cramp, which are more transient, have a sudden onset, and -involve hard contraction of the entire muscle. Although they can contribute to cramping, trigger -points are different in that they are long-lasting, have a gradual onset, and involve partial -contractions in small portions of the muscle. - -In addition to their immediate detrimental effects on muscle function, trigger points often -cluster together and pull on tendons and ligaments, causing joint problems and “deep” pain. -The tension they cause at joints can result in clicking, popping, and grating sounds. Over time, -they can contribute to bone spurs, pinched nerves, and arthritis.” Trigger points can be seen in -greatly magnified pictures of muscle tissue like the one below. They look like bunched-up -distortions in a web-like matrix. - -connective tissue - -Figure 5.1: Knot of partially contracted sarcomeres in the muscle fiber from the leg of a dog at 240x magnification. -Compare with the normal sarcomeres above and below it. This knot looks like an active contraction but has no -electrical (EMG) activity and is, thus, stuck in partial contraction. Reprinted with permission from Simons and -Stolov (1976). - -Dr. Janet G. Travell, MD (1901-1997) is generally recognized as the leading pioneer in -trigger point diagnosis and treatment. It has been said that she “single-handedly created this -branch of medicine.”® Travell, who was the White House physician during the Kennedy and -Johnson administrations, emphasized that trigger points are demoralizing and devastating to -quality of life. She called them the “scourge of mankind.” Advanced-stage trigger points are the -worst. They usually present in clusters, are the most painful, and involve highly warped muscle -fibers with large numbers of molecular aberrations. In reality, most people are practically -covered in trigger points from old injuries, bad posture, poor workout techniques, and bracing. - -Muscle Tension Develops at the Molecular Level - -To better understand trigger points, we need a little more background on muscles themselves. -Muscles are composed of fibers, which are themselves made of smaller fibers. The thinnest of - -130 - Chapter 5: Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy - -those hold sarcomeres, in which contraction takes place. A sarcomere is a microscopic structure -built from two kinds of filament-like molecules: actin and myosin. Actin and myosin form -interdigitating strands that can be activated. When active, they move past each other, quickly -creating contractile force. - -Fascicle Fiber Myofibril all -: I - -\ -Ui - -ml (=a a> -= - -illustration 5.1: A. Muscle made of fibers, containing sarcomeres; B. Microscopic view of contracted sarcomeres in -a muscle myofibril. An actual trigger point may contain dozens of these tiny knots. - -Millions of sarcomeres must contract to perform even the smallest movement. After they -contract, the sarcomeres relax when their actin and myosin strands are uncoupled from each -other and pull apart. In healthy muscle, actin and myosin wait patiently in a relaxed, decoupled -state until an impulse from the nervous system tells them to pull past each other again. In -unhealthy muscle, they are stuck. Many specialists believe that trigger points start to form -when overuse causes actin and myosin to become fixed in an interlocked position. This -interlocking puts the muscle into a static state of contracture, in which the strands no longer -separate and relax. - -Relaxation Actin - -ele ACTIN - -Contraction - -Illustration 5.2: A. Relaxed sarcomere on top and a contracted sarcomere on the bottom with actin and myosin -visible; B. Myosin curls like a finger, pulling on actin and allowing them to slide past each other to create muscular -movement; C. Human neck and shoulders covered with clusters of trigger points. - -131 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -Trigger points originate from a few different sources: (1) sustained low-level contraction, -2) sudden muscle overload, (3) “eccentric” contraction when a muscle stretches and contracts -simultaneously, and (4) gross trauma or injury to the muscle. Regardless of the cause, trigger -points slow blood flow to the muscle and cause oxygen deprivation at the affected site. -The reduced blood flow then causes sarcomeres to contract further, constricting the -surrounding capillaries. Capillaries normally supply the muscle with blood, so when they -constrict, it leads to reduced circulation or ischemia that impairs many cellular processes. - -Without blood flow, chemical waste products from muscular activity start to accumulate. -Eventually, the waste stimulates pain receptors in nearby nerve endings, sending pain signals to -the brain.’ Active trigger points demonstrate an unusual biochemical mix not seen in healthy -tissue. It is an acidic milieu containing increased levels of proinflammatory, contractile, and -pain-causing substances. And remember, we draw our very breaths with muscles that are -affected by these symptoms. - -Muscle Shortening and Scar Tissue - -A muscle can change its resting length to adapt to the length at which it is habitually used or -positioned. Muscles usually become shorter due to prolonged contracture. This is known as -adaptive muscle shortening and places the muscle in a state of partial contraction. It is another -pervasive clinical finding that affects every person who has ever lived. - -People confined to long periods of sitting exhibit debilitating shortening of the lower back -and hip muscles, especially the hip flexors. Similarly, wearing high-heeled shoes causes -prolonged plantar flexion of the foot, which results in adaptive shortening of the soleus -muscles. Constant squinting shortens the muscle fibers of the orbicularis oculi, narrowing the -eyes. Straining the sneer causes the muscles that lift the top lip to shrink, making the face -appear hideous. When the muscles in your knees and ankles shorten, they leave you vulnerable -to sprains and tears. Holding a hunched neck posture leads to shortening of the -sternocleidomastoid and other muscles in the front of the neck, making it very difficult to stop -hunching because the decreased length of these muscles pulls the head down. As Chapter 19 -will explain, bracing the muscles surrounding the genitals may play a role in sexual dysfunction. -There are examples of adaptive muscle shortening in muscles all over our bodies. - -The pressure from prolonged contracture pulls on tendons, straining them and distressing -the joints when they move. Next, ligaments and joint capsules retract. These changes perturb -nerve endings within the muscles and joints, causing deep-seated pain. Muscle shortening also -increases wear and tear, contributing to inflammatory and degenerative changes such as -tendonitis, fasciitis, bursitis, and osteoarthritis. Many different tissue types are damaged by -strain, including articular cartilages, connective tissues, tendons, fascia, menisci, ligaments, and -spinal disks. - -Adaptive muscle shortening can be made worse by the accumulation of scar tissue. Scar -tissue is a very tough, inflexible, fibrous material that binds itself to strained muscle fibers, -attempting to draw the damaged fibers together. The result is a bulky mass of stiff tissue -surrounding the site. In some cases, it is possible to feel and even see this mass under the skin. -When scar tissue adheres to muscle fibers, it prevents them from sliding back and forth -properly, limiting the flexibility of a muscle or joint. - -132 - Chapter 5: Recognize Muscular Tension Dormancy - -Scar tissue tends to shrink and deform the surrounding tissues, diminishing strength and -making the body feel heavy. It tends to adhere to nerve cells, leading to chronic pain. Existing -research has found that scar tissue is weaker, less elastic, more prone to future re-injury, and -up to 1,000 times more pain-sensitive than normal, healthy tissue. This results in chronic pain -that, under most circumstances, lasts a lifetime. In people who brace the most, these effects -create visibly apparent postural distortions. - -Excessive Tension is Debilitating and Constrains Your Physique - -Muscles encumbered by trigger points and adaptive shortening can be conceptualized as -dormant muscles. This is so because they are difficult to recruit, don’t move with the rest of the -body, and are starved of blood. Dormant muscles cannot recover adequately after a workout -and are resistant to growth and strengthening because they can never fully relax, and thus can -never fully heal. As long as they are under constant self-imposed strain, they will continue to -grow harder, more fragile, and decrepit. Scrunched-up muscles crumple your body and cause it -to buckle under every movement. - -Pregnancy itself does not necessarily adversely affect a woman’s physique. Rather, it is the -months of prolonged bracing, absence of postural variety, and limited range of motion that can -accompany the later stages of pregnancy for some women that have prominent, long-lasting -effects. Moreover, although some of the natural variation in physique between humans is due -to exercise, genetics, and exposure to testosterone, much of it can be attributed to differences -in dormant muscle that arose due to bracing during stress. - -You have significant untapped reservoirs of muscle in your body that correspond to areas -you brace and have been bracing for decades. For example, think about the hunch you probably -have in your neck. Starting at birth, you had a natural tendency to straighten the cervical -vertebrae in your neck, stacking them in a straight line. That straight-necked, upright posture is -optimal. But social pressures can affect how we carry our heads and necks; the less safe, stable, -or welcoming your childhood environment was, the more you were conditioned to hunch over, -communicating modesty or submission. The standard submissive neck posture is to stoop over, -jut your chin out, and tilt your head back. All of those changes reduce your height and help you -appear guarded. But they also introduce a slant in your neck, which is an inefficient way of -stacking vertebrae against the force of gravity. The excessive tension that develops leads to the -proliferation of trigger points, and those, in turn, cause muscle dormancy in your neck, -shoulders, and chest, and from there on down the spine. - -Chapter 13 will detail exactly how to reclaim your neck and regain its flexibility and full -range of motion. But the neck is just one example of a reservoir of muscle that has been -suppressed that you can tap into. These reservoirs can be found all over our bodies. Take your -clothes off and look in the mirror. Any body parts that don’t appear nubile and supple have -great potential. If all of our muscles were brought completely out of dormancy, we would have -the physiques (if not bulk) of elite athletes. - -Injuries Lead to Muscular Bracing - -Injuries contribute to and interact with bracing. After getting hurt, individuals often try to avoid -experiencing pain by tensing the area surrounding the site of injury. When someone sprains -their ankle, they unintentionally contract many muscles in the ankle, setting it in a fixed, - -133 - PROGRAM PEACE Self- Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body - -defensive position. This is intended to protect the injury. In fact, it is known as “splinting” -because it acts as a splint to immobilize the joint. Unfortunately, it also deprives the muscles of -the rest, oxygen, and nutrients they need to heal. As a result, splinting worsens the pain in the -long term by overtaxing the muscles involved. This happens partly because we tend to breathe -extremely shallowly whenever we injure ourselves (because as you know, shallow breathing -causes bracing). This is why, whenever | experience an injury, | pull out my breath metronome -immediately. - -Injuries almost always result in some form of persistent muscle tension. Even major -medical procedures can contribute. /atrogenic pain is a term referring to pain caused by -medical treatment and is especially common with the use of braces, slings, casts, and surgeries. -Immobilizing a broken forearm with a cast can easily lead to frozen shoulder syndrome, in -which a group of deltoid muscles is barred from moving through its normal range of motion as -tension gradually mounts. - -| had a melanoma removed from my shoulder blade in my mid-teens, and | recently found -that | have a series of muscular knots under the scar from bracing the area. My brother -received a large shot in the quadriceps during his appendectomy 20 years ago, and he says the -same area troubles him often. Think conscientiously about past injuries, medical procedures, -and other forms of trauma, identifying how they might be causing you to brace or tense -muscles even today. - -Stress and muscular tension also make us more susceptible to physical injury because tense -muscles fail and tear under excessive force, whereas relaxed ones are more resilient. The -muscles strained by sitting in a fixed position at a computer for eight hours a day are the most -susceptible to damage from a fall or car accident. Thus, injury can lead to bracing, and bracing -can lead to re-injury. - -Tense muscle tissue can be conceptualized as an injury or as a trauma even if there was no -precipitating accident. The word “injury” is defined as physical damage to a biological organism. -The word “trauma” is defined as an abnormality in an organism’s tissues usually caused by -injury. By these definitions, any form of persistent bracing, and the trigger points stemming -from it, are both injurious and traumatic. Unfortunately, once they get bad enough, they can -poison us emotionally. - -The Link Between Tension, Pain, and Negative Emotion - -“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.” — Najwa Zebian (b. 1990) - -Physical pain is an adaptive, evolved mechanism. The pain from a cut or burn informs us that -our bodies are suffering damage. It gives us built-in motivation to withdraw from the source of -harm and learn to avoid it in the future. But what about muscular pain, also known as myalgia? -In contrast to physical pain, myalgia has more to do with restricting movement. It compels us to -refrain from specific motions that might be damaging or harmful—it tells us not to over-stretch -a strained muscle, not to bend a weakened joint too far. It also tells us when we approach the -limits of our healthy range of motion, giving us important feedback about what our bodies can -and cannot do. This would have restricted aging hunter-gatherers from movements that had - -